Tuesday, May. 25, 2004 - 7:21 pm - Letter to Jay

Dear Jayson,

I met your latest chippy online in the wee hours of the morning. I doubt "she" (Is that the correct gender pronoun for a wannabe drag queen???) slept well after that.

This one has a bit of a mouth on her - funny, since you couldn't handle the original Sass Box.

She certainly makes a lot of unprovoked noise about not being threatened - funny, since people that make a lot of noise are usually deeply insecure.

Don't worry, I played nicely. I was mostly amused, much like a cat is by a piece of fluff - no need to use the claws to bat it around a little.

I am surprised by your selection this time.

Given your tendency to squeeze a penny until it bleeds, I never would've guessed you'd take in an unemployed homeless barn cat from Iowa.

I hear she sits on the Internet chatting all day - funny, since you dislike laziness.

Maybe I'll pay her a visit while you're at work using the key you gave me and I had copied before giving it back (Oh, I didn't tell you that? Silly me!). That way, we can be properly introduced. Didn't I forget a few things there?

You know we'll eventually run into each other in this damn small pond anyway.

You must have told her all your "glory day" stories because she likes to talk them up to anyone that'll listen - funny, since you and I know the truth.

This one certainly isn't the brightest bulb in the lamp either. I'm sorry but a reply of, "Huh?", to a simple statement like, "I'm no threat to you and if I was, you wouldn't know it", doesn't exactly scream of a high IQ.

I also hear she also likes to talk about how much your family adores her - funny, since your mom emailed the other day to ask how I was.

I see from the pictures she likes to wear a lot of rings. Do you let her borrow the cheap one I gave you - funny, since the one on my finger is Cartier.

In closing, I wish you two all the best. I just seriously hope you'll muzzle this one when we do finally meet face-to-face. I wouldn't want you to have to pay for a trip to the ER to get her face sown back together. Don't scars from stitches require special make-up???

Always,

-J

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